Inventing the New Year

By Daniel Davidson

The time to resolve is finally upon us and the party animals are about to be unleashed.  Where we will drink to remember and, for some, drink to forget.  We saw the destruction that oil can have on our eco system and the will power of man after 33 Chilean miners were trapped almost half a mile underground for over two months.  We have said goodbye to Leslie Nielson, our dear Blanche, our favorite little man Gary Coleman, and “book ‘em Danno!” James MacArthur.  We were given some electric new music from some of my personal favorites, the Black Eyed Peas (or BEP as I like to call them), Taylor Swift, and Justin Bieber. ( Who hasn’t had symptoms of Bieber Fever?)  Memories have been had to say the least.  Well I say good riddance, but I’m sure some feel different.  Anyways, to continue our holiday tradition, here are a few interesting patents that have to do with the New Year.

Behind door number one, we have a patent that would just thrill the (insert noun here) off a parent.  It absolutely blows my mind that someone actually thought people would want to litter the air with the most annoying arts and crafts decoration to hit the classroom or a scrappers wish list. Well, here it is.  A battery powered, super speed, rotating device that allows a user to commit party fouls. Patent Here 5,582,532

Next, we have a patent that will win over all you party animals that I mentioned at the beginning.  It will probably be most preferable to the drunken monkeys.  This invention may keep the blue and red flashing lights and the line, that you swear curves to the left, out of your holiday adventures.  It’s for an anti-collision sensor for a car. (Yes, the patent does mention New Year’s somewhere after the 100 pages of drawings) Patent here 5,357,438

And now for what you all have been waiting for, as Times Square has since 1907, a patent application for a New Year’s Ball Drop.  Patent application here 2005/0138851

Enjoy the New Year all from Zies Widerman & Malek as well as the Tactical IP team. Cheers!