Lady Gaga Not Gaga Over Baby Gaga

by Aaron Thalwitzer

In the second chapter of an ongoing series on human breast milk-related trademarks, I present to you “Baby Gaga”, the ice cream you could actually make all by yourself, ladies! Like, totally by yourself. Without anyone’s help. No, seriously, you don’t even need a cow.

Lady Gaga has threatened an ice cream parlor, called the “Icecreamists”,with a lawsuit. Ms. Gaga’s cease and desist letter demanded that the shop change the name of the ice cream, they’d get sued big time. Only, the Icecreamists can’t. The Man shut down the human mammary milk manufacturers before the letter ever reached the Icecreamists.

Ms. Gaga accuses the Icecreamists of using her “reputation and goodwill” and says that Baby Gaga is “highly detrimental” to her image because it may be “unsafe for human consumption (owing to the risk of it carrying such viruses as hepatitis).”</shudder>

The Icecreamists are milking this PR opportunity for all its worth. A full page response on their website explains that Lady Gaga cannot claim ownership to the word “gaga” since it “has been one of the first discernable phrases to come from a baby’s mouth.”

The Icecreamists placed upped the ante, practically begging Ms. Gaga to keep alive this moot point: They told Ms. Gaga that to “bring her legal team, we will bring our ice cream.”

Ms. Gaga described the product as ‘nausea-inducing’. The Kermit-cuddling, meat-modeling, mannequin of the main stage apparently thinks the Icecreamists have taken this a step too far. The Icecreamists screamed back, saying, “At least our customers are still alive when they contribute to our ‘art’.” Booyah!

The Icecreamists make their best point here:

How can she possibly claim ownership of the word ‘gaga’ which since the dawn of time has been one of the first discernable phrases to come from a baby’s mouth. This is why we chose the name. She owns no rights in the primal utterances of our children.

I hadn’t thought of that, but it makes good sense. Their problem is that the phrase “Baby Gaga” is so evocative of Lady Gaga. Maybe Ms. Gaga isn’t so popular in the UK. I honestly have no idea. Still, I’d wager she is, although she doesn’t seem to be making headlines so much these days.

To borrow a line from the Icecreamists’ response, “It all sounds and tastes like sour milk to us.”