It’s STILL Kinda Like Dating: Unified Patent Fiasco Keeps Continuing

Danie Roy

Okay, to explain this one, I’m going to have to recap by taking you back to younger days… middle or high school will do. I want you to remember the most popular guy in school: he was probably the star sports player, dashingly handsome, girls wanted to be with him, and guys wanted to be him. Now that you remember that guy, imagine his name is Mr. Headquarters.

Yes, I know, you remember this part, but play along a little longer. Now remember the three most popular girls in school: they were probably pretty, from relatively wealthy families, and cheerleaders. They probably were also all friends (or frenemies) and regularly fought over the most popular guys in school. Now name them London, Paris, and Munich.

“Wait a minute,” you protest, “you’ve already written this piece!” you’re probably shouting at the screen. Well… sort of. I wrote a piece explaining the fight over Mr. Headquarters before almost 2 months ago… when the end of the fight was supposedly in sight. In fact, this fight was meant to be resolved almost half a year ago and this plan has been in the works to the tune of three decades. Plus, a lot has happened in 2 months. Granted, a lot HASN’T happened in 2 months, either, but you know what I mean.

For starters, Italy actually got over the whole “you don’t speak my language” thing and has decided to join the party. At one point, it was speculated that she would do this on the condition of going to the party with Mr. Headquarters, but that clearly didn’t happen.

So now…poor Spain is sitting out, Belgium is offering to hold Mr. Headquarters while the other girls duke it out, and we’re still a ways away from getting the party actually started.

It’s not just kinda like dating, it’s EXACTLY like dating.