I really feel like we can’t reiterate what is and isn’t allowed to be patented according to 35 USC 101. The short version is, if you need to use the words “natural,” “God,” “perpetual motion,” “physics-defying,” “psychic,” or any combination or variant of the above, it’s probably NOT patentable. When in doubt, contact your friendly neighborhood patent practitioner. Shockingly, there are never any shortages of patent applications for this subject matter.
Now, we’ve already discussed some variant of all of the above, such as “Godly Powers” and “Perpetual Motion Devices.” Somehow, I managed to actually stumble upon patent applications for God himself and Perpetual Energy supplied by God. How is this different from Godly Powers you ask? In Godly Powers, the applicant claimed to be God. This new application is claiming God.
Or at least, that’s what I can make out. The application claims to be a continuation of a patent on a drain trap as well as almost a page’s worth of other applications. In the words of the Examiner, “The claim(s) are narrative in form and replete with indefinite and functional or operational language.” The same goes for the rest of the application. As if that weren’t enough, the applicant cursed no less than nine times in the application, rightfully raising objections from the Examiner.
To be clear: never ever ever ever ever EVER curse in an application. One, it makes you sound uneducated. Two, you’re never going to get an Examiner to allow an application like that. Three, it’s against the rules (37 CFR 1.3).
Tune in next time for Part II: Holy Perpetual Motion!